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ニコール・ウォルフ
xbleedingkansas
14 October 2007 @ 12:29 am
Life story  
I think that if everyone tried to remember that every single person has a story that will break your heart, the world would be a better and more understanding place.

Someone posted this at [info]topicless and I think its really interesting.

So...share with me your stories. Post anon if you want.



Okay okay, hopefully this won't be too long.

My family has been pretty poor my entire life. I grew up living in trailer parks and hotel rooms and it didn't really bother me until I got to middle school and you know how that is...the other kids have cool stuff and they make fun of you if you don't have cool too. Its still pretty difficult for my parents to handle their money. I've recently gotten a better job so hopefully I can help out more. But my mom has a few debts that I have to pay back for her because she can't afford to do it. I had a friend who I told all this to and she basically said that she couldn't believe my parents would do that to me and that the child shouldn't be responsible for the parent and all this crap. But what else are they supposed to do?

When I was about 6 or 7, my mom was fighting for custody of my half-brother and she lost because he chose to live with his grandmother. My mom had a breakdown and she went missing and my dad had to call the police. They found her in our van at a park. I remember my dad telling me to stand next to the van in case she fell out or something (wtf, what am I supposed to do? Catch her? I'M SIX! Idk...) and she was picking up all these pills and slowly putting them back in the pill bottle like she was drugged up or something. After that I remember visiting her at the mental hospital for a few weeks and then she came home.

Also, my mom has had a lot of health problems, both mental and physical. When I was a freshman in high school I found a suicide note she had written and thrown away in the trashcan. Both my parents have always been really depressed. They fight a lot about money of course and my mom has threatened divorce and leaving my dad so many times that I can't possibly take her seriously anymore. When I was in 5th or 6th grade my mom got this gastric bypass surgery and her stomach was basically replaced with a pouch so she can't eat certain things and she throws up a lot because some food just don't agree with her or whatever. She also has diabetes and the night of my junior prom her bloodsugar got so low that she had a seizure at Wal-Mart and she went to the hospital and my best friend went with me and I was really upset and when we saw her she was just completely out of it and she could barely speak. What's really bad is that I'm completely embarrassed by my mother. Due to her diabetes, she doesn't have very good circulation in her legs and she can barely feel her feet anymore. Its hard for her to move around. Some days she can barely walk. Its embarrassing to go out with her. I hate going to places with her where we have to sit down because it takes her forever to get up out of the chair. She's only 50, but there are residents at the retirement home where I work that can get around better than her.

As for my dad, he's a pretty tough case. He doesn't talk about how he feels to people and he has a difficult time feeling anything but anger sometimes. I think its because my grandparents never told him they loved him or that they were proud of him when he was growing up. When I was 15 I found out that I had a fourth half-brother that my dad doesn't talk about. He ran away from home when he was 13 and the last time anyone in my family saw him was in 1988. he had aids then so we all assume he's dead now.

And that's basically my story.
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(Anonymous) on October 14th, 2007 06:56 am (UTC)
When I was very young, my brother was diagnosed with autism. At the time I didn't really understand what was going on other then the fact my brother was just a bit more sensitive the most kids.

I don't really remember much of early elementary years but I do remember the later years.

When I was about 7 or 8 years old to the time I was 12, I was molested by my crush who happened to be much older and also my neighbor at the time who was older then me. Mom and Dad always fought and I was scared.

My parents' families didn't really help matters either. Because we were close to them (as in, they flew on a regular basis), they always came whenever usually to start a fight with each other, pack up, and leave -- leaving my parents to deal with it with each other.

I also had suicidal tendecies and I actually cut myself at one time. Well. Not on purpose actually. But I really did thought about doing it again.

Then my parents divorced.

Mom met a new guy on the internet and that was the time where I really felt low. I really wanted to die then, but thankfully friends and family talked me out of it.

We move to a new house and Mom got remarried. For the most part, he seemed like a nice guy. At least until we moved to Texas.

Mom had to leave for Korea and that's when he started to touch me. I couldn't go out with friends, but that's assuming I had friends. I was so scared, and once again suicidal thoughts came back. This time I really wanted to carry it out because as soon as Mom came back from Korea, she left for Iraq.

That's when it came on full-blown. He kept telling me that if I told Mom -- she'd disown me. She'd never believe me again. And it'd be all my fault.

It's only recent though that my mom found out that not only he'd been cheating on her when he went overseas for a job, but what he did to me.

For now, we're trying to get him to jail because of the IRS and, well, I want to press charges to the max.

But that's my story.
Katie ♬[info]tinyplaidninja on October 14th, 2007 08:25 am (UTC)
My mom’s an immigrant from Ireland. She grew up in the middle of Belfast, in an ongoing war. She’s seen friends killed right in front of her, and has lost family members to the IRA. She's incredibly hard-working and driven, loves me unconditionally, and keeps me sane.
My dad’s a shit head. His biological father beat his mother, his brother, and himself on a regular basis, and he and his brother conspired to murder him. His father ended up in prison, my grandmother remarried a rich doctor (after destroying his marriage), my dad married some woman he met at a party while he was high (she’d brought her 6 year old daughter with her), she got pregnant and had my half brother, then they divorced. He met my mother, they got married, had my brother…he stayed in touch with my half brother until a year before I was born. Then they fell out and haven’t spoken since (it’s been more than 20 years).
Life was peaches until I was in 6th grade. Then 9/11 rolled around, and then my dad told us he was leaving us, and my mom, brother and I fell into very different depressions. Mom never got out of bed. I stopped talking. My brother was always on the computer. We went bankrupt. We lost the house. Had to move to a tiny one. I started staying home from school all the time and sleeping. I kept everything inside. I read a lot of fantasy novels and pretended that fantasy creatures were going to come and take me away. My brother and I fought constantly. Violently. The last time he ever hit me, he grabbed me by the throat and slammed me against the wall until I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe. Then my mom and him had a day-long screaming fit and he hasn’t touched me since.
I never went to school. It’s only by my teachers’ well-wishing that I passed, I think. I’d sleep in class when I was there. I was depressed, but instead of being lonely, I was just self-absorbed. I hated my body, and still did until a year or two ago, but I hid in my fantasy world. In high school I learned to skip with older kids. I’d drive around with people I barely knew. I've never done drugs, but I drank so much that I've destroyed my stomach lining and can't even hold down a wine cooler. We found my half siblings on myspace. For a while we got kinda close, then drifted apart because of location. We also got in touch with my gay uncles but it’s the same situation. I rarely talk to my father. He's a heartless bastard who makes me uncomfortable, and rarely remembers we exist anyways. My mom and my brother fought constantly until he moved out this past year. I never officially came out to my mom and brother, but they know I like girls. They don't like to talk about it, but they accept it. Living in the bible belt makes me very afraid sometimes. I'm only PART gay, but that's enough to earn me hatred from some of the people I consider friends. My mother and I decided to start traveling and not stop anywhere for too long. We’re sick of being here. I feel crushed and unable to truly be myself. She misses the ocean. My brother will probably only be sad because he can’t beg us for money (he owes almost everyone he knows money, and keeps asking. He can’t hold down a job for long, and is a chronic liar). He’s become kind of a separate entity from us. I still love him so much. I won’t miss my father. I still get depressed sometimes, because the girl I’m in love with is straight and would probably throw the bible at me if I confessed my feelings. But I just need to get over it. It’s not doing me any good to pine. That’s why I throw myself into weird obsessions. It's my coping mechanism. My life hasn’t been too bad, but all through middle school it was hell. I can’t go into detail because those three or four years are still a black hole of missing memories. My family says I slept through it. It was terrible, and I hated myself for so long. But all is better now.
dontufakeit[info]dontufakeit on October 14th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
This is a great meme. Your "F-List" cares about your story, know that. You seem like a great person, someone who's experiences has made them stronger. I hate that society today sucks as much as it does, and I always wonder why life has to be as hard as it is. I hate that everything is about money, and I face hardship because of it everyday as well.

Here's my story, not many people know this that know me in real life,

When I was little, my parent's friend's son, around my age at the time, held me down on a bed. He kissed me and I can't type the rest. It didn't go all the way or anything, and I doubt that he knew what he was doing because we were little like seven. He must have learned it from his brother or tv. His brother was older. I tried to push him off a couple of times. I felt all weird and ashamed after. My mother shut me down when I tried to talk to her about it. I think that she was weirded out. Since then, I've had a hard time dating people, and I'm uncomfortable with people putting their hands on me. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 19, and I've never really gone any further than that.

When I was around the same age, I was out of school for two months because I had to have a tumor removed from my bikini area the size of a golf ball. I spent most of the time in the cancer ward. They thought that it was cancerous. I remember my father passing out. I also remember being in a wheelchair afterwards for a bit. I have a huge scar at least four inches long still. I was lucky that it turned out to be not cancer.

When I was 11. My brother and I were at my grandmother's house, when we were watching TV and she had a stroke. I called my cousin because I didn't know what to do, and she called 911. After that day, she could never communicate coherently again, and died shortly after. I'll never forget... one minute, she was fine, and the next, she was gone. It's almost like she died right in front of me.

My brother was born with a narrowing of the aorta. Just last month, they found out that he has an aneurysm. He has to go in for surgery soon, and he's only 20 years old.

My mother has an alcohol problem, and my father is verbally abusive, which doesn't help. My mother was also adopted. She found her adoptive family. Her father lives in Texas and the only time he contacts us is when he wants money. Her mother wrote her a note on her 50th birthday that said she never wanted to her from her again. They are alive and could be my grandparents but want nothing to do with us, and all of my other grandparents are dead.


I'm not trying to complain about my family because I love them. I know these problems are nothing compared to what some people have gone through. I just think that sometimes it's important to say these things out loud.

gorengal[info]gorengal on October 15th, 2007 04:08 am (UTC)
I don't really want to post my story because it's painful and I don't like talking about it. It's much the same as what has been posted already, though. Do you mind if I hijack here? I want to tell you all to hang in there...it is possible to have a life separate from your primary family.

I was able to graduate college, and I met someone and made a life with him. We have a beautiful daughter and a home and I am free of the dysfunction of my toxic family. Those of you who help your parents financially or with slave-childcare like I did, you should not be in that position forever. Sure, we all help our families out...but we are not slave labor or cash machines. Not only is it ok for you to desire more for yourself, it is *right.* At some point you must step back and say "no more." You can care and love and hope and pray, but it is NOT up to you to save your parents. Been there, done that, and suffered because of it.

My mailbox is always open if you need to talk. Send me a PM at ff.n (same name, gorengal) and I'll be more than happy to email with you.
Little Miss Pipedream[info]dearavenue on October 15th, 2007 11:15 pm (UTC)
Middle school sucked. It was all about being "in" than anything else. I didn't have the latest things like how some people did, but I didn't care about it very much.

I heart you. :)
xlolitsnozomix: akame[info]xlolitsnozomix on July 12th, 2008 09:11 pm (UTC)
these stories broke my heart ;-;
and i won't share mine because it hurts me to write about it
and of course its nothing compared to these T___T
*clutches heart and runs away*
can i pimp this? ://
i think its genius♥
ShatteringChaos[info]shatteringchaos on November 8th, 2008 03:24 pm (UTC)
Wow.

Long story short=My mom cheated on my dad with my church's pastor/my bible teacher's husband and my dad became an emotionally abusive alcoholic, so my mom moved out and has been sleeping around with 20 year old's (and she's 40) because she wants to be young again. And she's a total hypocrite, seeing that she went to church and all, and tell's me to be a good christian, and is insistent on making me believe whatever she wants me to.

But stories like your's make me feel better sometimes. I'm not quite sure why, but they do. It kind of reminds me that compared to other people i have nothing to bitch about.